HSW "Having A Ball"     Hey, who's that guy with Howard?

        I either am or have been a photographer, a programmer, a system designer, a writer, a real estate broker (licensed in California), a consultant, an insultant, the guest of honor, a teacher (many topics, many ages), a videographer, a seminarian (that is to say I give seminars), a documentarian, a robotics engineer, a public speaker, an unemployed bum, a game maker, a huge tax debtor, and generally a scream at parties. Now I either am or has been. Jack of all trades? Well, not Queen anyway.
        I am a dazzling conversationalist and a sparkling whiner. I do not make any music, which is not to say that I do not dance to anyone's tune. I have a very strong moral code which is currently on file with my bankruptcy attorney. My heart beats diamonds and clubs, and I bridge the gap between "believe" and "perceive."

        Educated? I don't know about that, but I am, to a certain degree, degreed. How so? Read the first few paragraphs of Conquering College and then hit the Back button.

        Marriage? Just three. No kids though. I'm 3-0. Currently between wives. In fact I have just now reached the point where I have been consistently not married for a period of time longer than the sum of the durations of my three marriages, so you can't say I'm not accomplishing anything.

        Money? Ha ha ha. Yes, I used to have a pile (larger than that of clothes on my bedroom floor). In fact I made over one million dollars by age 27. Of course by age 30 I was over one million in the hole, courtesy of the IRS. A condition which is still in its malignancy stage, over a decade later. But hey, that just means we're partners. I'm working for all of you. That is, when I'm working.

        Which is not to say that I am broken. Except in a house sense. Does that make any?

        Steve Martin popularized the Wild and Crazy guy. I am him (the wild and crazy guy that is, not Steve Martin)(not that Steve is bad, I think he is outrageously talented)(not that being talented is an outrage)(but you get the parenthetical idea)(don't you)(?)

        Everything I have said so far (and some really good stuff I left out) is true, including this: This little diatribe needs work. This is a life under construction, and an expression thereof likewise.
 

Here are some key quotes (theirs and mine):

"Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth."  -Pablo Picasso

"Wit has truth in it. Wisecracking is just calisthenics with words."  -Dorothy Parker

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."  -Irving Caesar

"Complexity is the process by which the obvious is obscured by the irrelevant."  -HSW

"Learn your craft, it won't stop you being a genius."  -Delacroix

"If something's true, you don't have to believe in it."  -Lily Tomlin

"If you are never failing it's a sure sign you're playing it safe."  -Woody Allen

"Everyone is the genius of their own perspective."  -HSW

"Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work."  -Mark Twain

"Someone who can work with the minimum, can work with the most." -Robert Bresson

"Any man who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot."  -Groucho Marx
 
"I'm not the kind of guy who describes himself in terms of the things he isn't"  -HSW